Choosing your bridal party (bridesmaids and groomsmen) is a really exciting part of your wedding planning but can also be a tricky one. You may have had your crew picked out in your mind for years, or maybe you are stuck! You may have lots of friends and don’t want anyone to feel left out, but have to consider practicalities and budget. I have hung out with many a bridal party in my time and also being lucky enough to be a part of a few, so I’ve seen a lot of different combinations and dynamics. I think it’s such an epic thing to be able to spend most of the day with these close friends by your side and have them a part of the planning too. I hope these tips will help avoid any stress and have a joy-filled experience when it comes to your bridal party.

CHOOSE WISELY

Consider all the important people in your life, who means the most to you? Who has supported you and your relationship? Try not to make the decision out of guilt, obligation, or under any pressure. Check out some tips in this blogpost for navigating tricky relationship dynamics when it comes to your wedding. You don’t have to stick to the rules! You can have friends, parents, or even your dog as a member of the bridal party. You don’t have to have an even amount of bridesmaids and groomsmen. And actually, you don’t even have to have a bridal party at all if you don’t want to!

When choosing your tribe, consider whether they’ll still be in your life 5-10+ years down the track. They will be a big part of the photos and memories of your day for years to come.

Think practically. If one of your besties lives overseas but you still want to include them, great! Just don’t expect them to be able to make it to every single pre-wedding event, or maybe plan a bit around them to help them feel included. If a friend has a really busy job, or children or isn’t that reliable, consider how much they’ll be able to help or if they will feel extra pressure being asked.

Who are your biggest supporters? If you hit an overwhelming or stressful part of wedding planning, are they going to be there for you with a calming presence or practical solution to help? You’re going to be spending a big chunk of your wedding day together, are they going to make it more or less fun?

Consider your budget. A big bridal party can be expensive. Also, consider your friend’s finances. How much do you expect them to pay for? Will this add financial strain to them? What can you do to help them not feel worried about “affording” being a part of your day?

Make it fun! Send them flowers/wine to pop the question (“Will you be my bridesmaid/groomsmen?”) or take them out on a special date. It is such an exciting part of your life and they will be so excited to walk alongside you!

CLEAR COMMUNICATION + EXPECTATIONS

Be upfront from the beginning about what parts of the wedding planning process you’d like your bridal party to be involved in and potentially contribute to. Have honest conversations and consider their current schedules and how your wedding duties will fit in with them. Put important appointments or event dates in their diaries well in advance to allow plenty of time to plan and show up. Be clear about money, what you will pay for, and what you expect them to, or where you are flexible. Respect their current financial situation.

This blogpost about planning a hen’s party has some great tips when it comes to money and involving your bridal party. It’s a great idea to provide a list (nothing too crazy!) of things you’d like them to help with pre-wedding and on the day. This doesn’t have to be a bride/groomzilla laying-down-the-rules conversation, just communicating openly and honestly! More than likely your bridal party will feel honoured and excited to be such a special part of your day and will want to get involved and with the process.

HONOUR THEIR FRIENDSHIP + PART IN THE DAY

How amazing that you have people in your lives, so dear to you, to stand next to you and walk with you through this journey? Honour their friendship and support with gratitude for everything they do to help you and bring you joy. Maybe surprise them with a special gift on the day, and thank them in your speeches. I truly believe that these important friendships play such a key role in supporting you as a person and your relationship with your significant other. Including them in your bridal party is an amazing way to honour that.

Check on my IGTV on this topic here.

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