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Thoughts on being a single (not-in-a-relationship) wedding photographer

I’m going to be honest and admit this blogpost has been sitting in my drafts for a long time. This is not intended to be a pity party, just an honest conversation. Sorry, it may be a long one. I often think about who I am, what I want to share and how I can relate to others. I want to be authentic and vulnerable in telling my story and be able to empower others in their journeys. At this moment in time I am a single 26-year old, and I have never been in love.

While I’m not going to divulge my complete relationship history with you here today, I want to be real and talk about working in the industry of LOVE during this stage of my life.

“How does it make you feel being at other people’s weddings all the time?”, “Does it make you sad/lonely being around all that love?”, these are things I have been asked in past. To answer these questions, in a word: no. I love love, and even though I have not yet found my life partner and experienced the journey of getting engaged and then married, it does not make me sad seeing other people doing this.

Lately, in a few online wedding photographer groups I am a part of, there have been a few discussions around being married or not as a photographer. Whether it changed the way they shoot weddings after having their own wedding or if it affected their business in any way.

For the married photographers they said the most helpful thing is experiencing the perspective of a bride/groom and knowing how they would like to be treated by their wedding photographer and vendors. I know one day this will be valuable, to step into the shoes of my brides. However, I have learned so much by walking alongside brides, being a bridesmaid three times, helping plan some of my best friends weddings and shooting hundreds of weddings myself, I feel I have a little bit of an idea of what it will be like.

I definitely see a lot of value in us as photographers stepping into our clients shoes and getting on the other side of the camera sometimes. It’s important for us to experience the vulnerability in being photographed, the feeling our clients have and to realise it can actually be a lot of fun.

I have learned a lot from watching my family and friend’s relationships, walking through the celebrations and the trials with them and just listening.

It is interesting to hear from those who are married about what they valued in their photographer and how they chose them: good communication, pricing online, capturing special family members, lots of candid photos, enthusiasm and friendliness, style, budget, timeless editing, relaxed personality, loving a friend’s wedding photos or feeling a connection with the photographer.

That last one I think is super important, and I don’t really think your photographer’s relationship status plays into the decision. It doesn’t affect creativity, personality or passion. I definitely try to take on board these things above and make an effort to implement them into my business where possible. There are so many amazing wedding photographers out there and when it one day comes time for me to hire one, it is going to be a really tough decision, but I know what important deciders I’ll be looking for.

I am loving this stage of my life, the adventures I get to go on, the opportunities I get to pursue and the rock-solid friendships I have been able to build. And yes, I am super excited to one day share it all with a special person I can call my husband and to share in his world as well. I can’t wait for that stage and all the highs and the lows to come. But right now I am happy.

Some awesome things about being a single (not-in-a-relationship) wedding photographer:

  • It’s exciting, not depressing. I love celebrating in other people’s LOVE.
  • I get to go to so many weddings and get heaps of ideas for my future wedding!
  • I am independent, have more flexibility with my time and have the ability to help and invest into others.
  • I am able to witness some incredible couples and learn what really creates a solid foundation for a lasting relationship, there’s no reason you can’t start preparing to be an amazing wife even though you’re single!
  • I have total faith in God’s plan for my life, I trust in the timing and I know my truth.

Honestly singleness can be tough and lonely sometimes. You also get all those annoying comments (however well-intentioned), like “so when are you going to get a boyfriend?”, “don’t worry there’s someone out there for you”, and “oh well times ‘a ticking if you want to have babies”… Seriously, not helpful. There are many great things about being single though too. It’s so important (in any stage of life) to surround yourself with amazing people who you can trust and be vulnerable with. Have a positive outlook on life and be open to learning, growing and changing during this time.

A bit of encouragement/advice for all my fellow single ladies!

  • Worrying won’t add a single moment to your life. Don’t be ruled by ‘one day’. Have a life.
  • Great marriages come out of great friendships.
  • Love is a decision and a choice. There is no such thing as ‘the one’.
  • You cannot give your power of happiness to anyone.
  • Invest in people in the same season.
  • Being single is not a disease, a red flag or a club. And it is certainly not something to be “tolerated” until you find “freedom” in a relationship.
  • If you are not fulfilled in your now, you will not be fulfilled in your next.

 

I’d love to hear from you! What truths did being single teach you? What advice could you give to people around you in the same stage of life? Do you have any guy-friends you could set me up with? (haha totally joking on that last one if you can’t pick up on the sarcasm!) In all seriousness I’d love you to add to the conversation so leave a comment or send me a message, we’re all in this together. Lots of love xx

Above photos by some of my beautiful friends: Brijana Cato (single), Amy King (single), and Cassey Namkung (taken). I’m sure they will love me for sharing that haha xx

References from this article.

 

I’m going to be honest and admit this blogpost has been sitting in my drafts for a long time. This is not intended to be a pity party, just an honest conversation. Sorry, it may be a long one. I often think about who I am, what I want to share and how I can relate to others. I want to be authentic and vulnerable in telling my story and be able to empower others in their journeys. At this moment in time I am a single 26-year old, and I have never been in love.

While I’m not going to divulge my complete relationship history with you here today, I want to be real and talk about working in the industry of LOVE during this stage of my life.

“How does it make you feel being at other people’s weddings all the time?”, “Does it make you sad/lonely being around all that love?”, these are things I have been asked in past. To answer these questions, in a word: no. I love love, and even though I have not yet found my life partner and experienced the journey of getting engaged and then married, it does not make me sad seeing other people doing this.

Lately, in a few online wedding photographer groups I am a part of, there have been a few discussions around being married or not as a photographer. Whether it changed the way they shoot weddings after having their own wedding or if it affected their business in any way.

For the married photographers they said the most helpful thing is experiencing the perspective of a bride/groom and knowing how they would like to be treated by their wedding photographer and vendors. I know one day this will be valuable, to step into the shoes of my brides. However, I have learned so much by walking alongside brides, being a bridesmaid three times, helping plan some of my best friends weddings and shooting hundreds of weddings myself, I feel I have a little bit of an idea of what it will be like.

I definitely see a lot of value in us as photographers stepping into our clients shoes and getting on the other side of the camera sometimes. It’s important for us to experience the vulnerability in being photographed, the feeling our clients have and to realise it can actually be a lot of fun.

I have learned a lot from watching my family and friend’s relationships, walking through the celebrations and the trials with them and just listening.

It is interesting to hear from those who are married about what they valued in their photographer and how they chose them: good communication, pricing online, capturing special family members, lots of candid photos, enthusiasm and friendliness, style, budget, timeless editing, relaxed personality, loving a friend’s wedding photos or feeling a connection with the photographer.

That last one I think is super important, and I don’t really think your photographer’s relationship status plays into the decision. It doesn’t affect creativity, personality or passion. I definitely try to take on board these things above and make an effort to implement them into my business where possible. There are so many amazing wedding photographers out there and when it one day comes time for me to hire one, it is going to be a really tough decision, but I know what important deciders I’ll be looking for.

I am loving this stage of my life, the adventures I get to go on, the opportunities I get to pursue and the rock-solid friendships I have been able to build. And yes, I am super excited to one day share it all with a special person I can call my husband and to share in his world as well. I can’t wait for that stage and all the highs and the lows to come. But right now I am happy.

Some awesome things about being a single (not-in-a-relationship) wedding photographer:

  • It’s exciting, not depressing. I love celebrating in other people’s LOVE.
  • I get to go to so many weddings and get heaps of ideas for my future wedding!
  • I am independent, have more flexibility with my time and have the ability to help and invest into others.
  • I am able to witness some incredible couples and learn what really creates a solid foundation for a lasting relationship, there’s no reason you can’t start preparing to be an amazing wife even though you’re single!
  • I have total faith in God’s plan for my life, I trust in the timing and I know my truth.

Honestly singleness can be tough and lonely sometimes. You also get all those annoying comments (however well-intentioned), like “so when are you going to get a boyfriend?”, “don’t worry there’s someone out there for you”, and “oh well times ‘a ticking if you want to have babies”… Seriously, not helpful. There are many great things about being single though too. It’s so important (in any stage of life) to surround yourself with amazing people who you can trust and be vulnerable with. Have a positive outlook on life and be open to learning, growing and changing during this time.

A bit of encouragement/advice for all my fellow single ladies!

  • Worrying won’t add a single moment to your life. Don’t be ruled by ‘one day’. Have a life.
  • Great marriages come out of great friendships.
  • Love is a decision and a choice. There is no such thing as ‘the one’.
  • You cannot give your power of happiness to anyone.
  • Invest in people in the same season.
  • Being single is not a disease, a red flag or a club. And it is certainly not something to be “tolerated” until you find “freedom” in a relationship.
  • If you are not fulfilled in your now, you will not be fulfilled in your next.

 

I’d love to hear from you! What truths did being single teach you? What advice could you give to people around you in the same stage of life? Do you have any guy-friends you could set me up with? (haha totally joking on that last one if you can’t pick up on the sarcasm!) In all seriousness I’d love you to add to the conversation so leave a comment or send me a message, we’re all in this together. Lots of love xx

Above photos by some of my beautiful friends: Brijana Cato (single), Amy King (single), and Cassey Namkung (taken). I’m sure they will love me for sharing that haha xx

References from this article.

 

Comments

  1. Patty Lagera

    October 3rd, 2017 at 11:29 am

    Omg I love this and I love you! Haha! Single ladies lunch/brunch soon?!

  2. Lydia

    November 5th, 2017 at 10:46 pm

    Yes Patty!! Thanks girl 🙂 Need to make this happen soon #crazyseason xx

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